Kyle on his previous weekend

From Tom: "Where's the wednesday blog kyle? slacking already... punk."

Reply from Kyle: "Tom is one tasty piece of Manhattan pie!"

For future reference I won't be posting Wednesday blogs on Blog-Tuesdays (see date), or, for that matter, any day of the week except possibly Blog-Wednesdays. I'm that kind of blogger: honest, confused and touchy.

The past weekend found me in Linconshire, IL, attending the wedding of my cousin. It was a nice outdoor event with plenty of fun and belligerence. Check me out: I ate most of my good luck rice, tossed the rest at the wedding party as they were introduced during the reception, most of which missed and hit the wedding cake, chanted "Rooooooooooooooth" when my grandmother Ruth was toasted. Then I began drinking tequilla. The party train arrived at our hotel at around 1 o'clock with a luggage cart filled three feet high with cases of beer. The concierge didn't like this one bit and demanded to keep a copy of my cousins I.D., which was clearly not a formality. We crammed about 30 people in a little two-bed room. Flippy cup was played, which required stealing the hallway decorative table and ripping off the chain, sending chain links flying everywhere. Someone snuck a strange Red Bull concoction in my place instead of beer. I was angry. I was sick. Pizza was thrown. Pipes and cigarettes and empty cans were passed around and scattered about the beds and furnature, which were stacked in the far corner to maximize floor space. The end.