Kyle's Quiz

Kyle wants you to take this short quiz.

It will determine your Kyle Quotient (i.e. the most important part of you that you aren't aware of).

(Kyle suggests using a fake email address)

Kyle Ingests

Saturday I ingested something that I haven't ingested in years. It made me break apart trees at Huron River and climb around on bridge support pillars.

Today I will ingest fucking Pancheros, fuck yeah. Beans, rice, motherloving salsa...the works. It will make me sedated and happy.

Tonight I will ingest your soul. That's right. I will suck it out through your mouth, blow it back in through your ears, suck it back out through your nose and then swallow it myself. Then I will own you for eternity.

Kyle Negotiates

After wathing The Negotiator last night, I have finally satisfied my lust for high-octane negotiation. Finally! Sweet relief...

The film begins with a powerhouse negotiation by renegade negotiator Samuel Jackson. Then something goes wrong and Jackson takes hostages. Jackson then gets to negotiate the pants off a rookie negotiator, causing the cops bring in an old pro: Kevin Spacy. Spacy and Jackson procede to negotiate at the top of their lungs for 1.5 hours, at which point the movie ends.

If only I could negotiate like that. Dr. Berridge, if you don't approve of my work I'm prepared to show you just how far I'm willing to take this! I have Ben here, Dr. Berridge, and at this point in time Ben's life means very little to me....so you have to ask yourself, Berridge, how much does it mean to you!!!

Or something like that.

Since I returned from San Diego....
....I saw Chomsky speak on Linguistics. He's a chompy man, let me tell you.
....I dressed up as a Spanish dueling muskateer and party hopped my way around ann arbor
....I hollared "You ladies are skinny and beautiful!"
....I finally scraped away the gum that had built up and solidified behind my rear teeth
....I lied about some stuff (just now, matter of fact)
....I decided to vote a straight Democratic ticket
....And to vote pro-marijuana, pro-gambling, pro-homosexual, pro-community college money
....I realized that I'm a very pro and positive man, y'know, I'm really optimistic about stuff

G'day