Kyle on his life recently

What have I been up to? I'll tell you, right about........

1. Now...
2. Writing my paper
3. Watching videos. I rented Extreme Measures, which has a good 1st and 3rd act and a rediculous 2nd act, Once Upon a Time in America, which is so good that it's boring, American Buffalo which is so boring that it's good, Touching the Void, which made me laugh (uncomfortably) at the extreme misfortune of its characters.
4. Riding the Lightening. If you have to ask, you just won't understand
5. Researching brain substrates of pleasure. Double cannulae baby, oh yeahhhhhh.
6. Crying myself to sleep. Because Dee is away on vacation and I can't use the toilet without her help.
7. Telling my cat Sausage to shut the hell up. I swear to God, if he screams one more time...
8. Preparing for my first anniversary. I will whisk Dee away to an enchanted land of love, licorice and a latchkey babies. What?
9. Listening to Kim talk about moving animal cages with her muscles.
10. Matt is a powder jockey. A real mountain meister.
11. Resisting the temptation to hit something, anything. Maybe the computer.

Kyle on Genes

Let's talk about my genes, shall we: 

Good Genes:  my organs, physique, everything

Bad Genes:  my attidude.  I'm badasssss. 

Selfish Genes:  my hair cells.  They don't do what I want. 

Durable Genes:  my Levi 510s

Unstable Genes:  my fist muscles.  Watch your back.

Foreign Genes:  those belonging to Dee that have made their way into my body, via one route or another

Sophisticated Genes:  my physique, again

Celluloid Genes:  my Siskel cells, baby, and my Hackman proteins

Kyle's blood pressure

I have won the "lowest blood pressure in the lab" award*, with 96 over 58.  I will celebrate with coffee and maybe death. 

*Thanks to Kim's blood pressure mometer

Kyle on Mitchum

I'm a Mitchum man, so watch out.  Night of the Hunter is one grade-A flick and I've just purchased some Mitchum deoderant.  It rolls on smooth and fresh, so smooth that yesterday I sat down with a stick of mitchum and a photograph of Robert Mitchum and I, well, y'know. 
Mitchum excess, that's what I'm into.  That and the death penalty.  Me and the death penalty are like this.

What's going on in the lab right now?
-Kim is chowing down and telling me I have Tourettes
-Ben Goodies is trying to curb his addiction to The Postal Service with some afro pie
-Susana is sick of her coffee candies
-Carrie is mixing the fluids
-Allison is scoring videotapes of blurry white blobs that I think are mice

 

Today's 4 points of interest

I may have a very young and depressed blog nemesis:   kyle.blogspot.com
But what has happened to him since 2001?  Is he still out there soiling my good name? 

Tom wants to visit Ann Arbor and wake up covered in regurgitated sangria after a night of Dominicks.   What do YOU think of Tom? 

Scott is at my house sleeping right now.  Two days ago he found an old, gray cat poo in the downstairs toilet.  Yesterday he took a shower and dried himself with a decorative towel, which left bits of blue fuzz all over his body.  

I had a twilight zone morning today.  I'm in line to buy a gyro and behind me walks by a girl with the shortest skirt ever, and its a windy day so she might as well have just been wearing underwear.  Pretty rediculous for a crowded art fair.   Then I buy my gyro and the cashier says "You come here every morning."  And I reply "No, not really."  Keep in mind that this is only my second time in 2 years at this place.  Then she says "No, you come here.  Where do you work?".  "East Hall", I say.  She hands me my change and says nothing more. 

 



  

 

Kyle on movie themes

In case you're hosting a party and want some thematically cohesive cinematic entertainment:

1) Hacker Wet Dream: Wargames, Hackers, Sneakers (courtesy of Tom)

2) Midget Fantasy: Willow, Time Bandits, Wizard of Oz

3) Films with Matt Damon's Character in the Title: Talented Mr. Ripley, Bourne Identity, Good Will Hunting, Gerry (courtesy of Dee)

4) Canine Horror: Man's Best Friend, The Howling, Cujo

5) Academic Inspiration: Dead Poets Society, With Honors, Summer School, The Emperors Club

6) Gross:  Gross Anatomy, Gross Misconduct, Grosse Pointe Blank

7)  Hackman Surveillance:  Runaway Jury, Enemy of the State, The Conversation. 

Kyle on his previous weekend

From Tom: "Where's the wednesday blog kyle? slacking already... punk."

Reply from Kyle: "Tom is one tasty piece of Manhattan pie!"

For future reference I won't be posting Wednesday blogs on Blog-Tuesdays (see date), or, for that matter, any day of the week except possibly Blog-Wednesdays. I'm that kind of blogger: honest, confused and touchy.

The past weekend found me in Linconshire, IL, attending the wedding of my cousin. It was a nice outdoor event with plenty of fun and belligerence. Check me out: I ate most of my good luck rice, tossed the rest at the wedding party as they were introduced during the reception, most of which missed and hit the wedding cake, chanted "Rooooooooooooooth" when my grandmother Ruth was toasted. Then I began drinking tequilla. The party train arrived at our hotel at around 1 o'clock with a luggage cart filled three feet high with cases of beer. The concierge didn't like this one bit and demanded to keep a copy of my cousins I.D., which was clearly not a formality. We crammed about 30 people in a little two-bed room. Flippy cup was played, which required stealing the hallway decorative table and ripping off the chain, sending chain links flying everywhere. Someone snuck a strange Red Bull concoction in my place instead of beer. I was angry. I was sick. Pizza was thrown. Pipes and cigarettes and empty cans were passed around and scattered about the beds and furnature, which were stacked in the far corner to maximize floor space. The end.

Kyle sees what this thing can do...

Check out this FONT.  Oh yeah!
 
Ok, well, here's an update on myself: 
I've just finished the final draft of a paper and am about to submit it to a scientific journal.  Two weeks ago finished my masters/candidacy exam which was very long (3 weeks) and involved a paper, 100 references, and a 2 hr defense, during which I was grilled like a hot dog on Cindy Lauper's midriff...cause she's HOT.  Speaking of which, doesn't Arnold resemble a nicely charred hot dog on the cover of Commando?  That observation is courtesy of my wife, Dee, who may contribute to this blog in the future.  Or I may just steal her ideas.  We'll see. 
 
Ann Arbor art fair starts tomorrow and will consume all available parking spaces.  I'm like "That's just stupid, and maybe dumb too" to the fair-goers.  They're like "Whatever!  Deal with it".  And I'm like "Whatever."  Then I sulk and kick a few pebbles.
 
Do I like commas?  Yes I do!  Colons, not so much.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Blog test

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